American Book Review lists their 100 best first lines from novels.
They missed my favorite, from Skinny Legs and All by Tom Robbins…
“This is the room of the wolfmother wallpaper.”
Wait, that was the Preface. This is the actual first line of the book…
“It was a bright, defrosted, pussy-willow day at the onset of spring, and the newlyweds were driving cross-country in a large roast turkey.”
Oh what the hell, here’s a bit more…
> This is the room of the wolfmother wallpaper. The toadstool motel you once thought a mere folk tale, a corny, obsolete, rural invention. This is the room where your wisest ancestor was born, be you Christian, Arab, or Jew. The linoleum underfoot is sacred linoleum. Please remove your shoes….
What room is this? This is the room where the antler carved the pumpkin. This is the room where the gutter pipes drank the moonlight. This is the room where moss gradually silenced the treasure, rubies being the last to go. Transmissions from insect antennae were monitored in this room. It’s amazing how often their broadcasts referred to the stars.
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{ 2 comments }
aArOn 02.09.06 at 3:15 pm
There was a story that made national news a few years ago, “Pitbull turns on owner.” The media ran with it like their asses were on fire. After some research, the truth behind the story was indeed the dog did attack her owner but only because it was fed up receiving its daily beating and abuse. The truth is if you take all of the bully breeds (bull terriers, am staffs, pit bull terrier etc..) combined, these breeds do not make up 1% of the dog bites on humans reported in 2005. And what dog breed was the number one offender last year and 3yrs running? Drum roll please…..The Labrador Retriever. Why the all american lab you ask? Because millions of families own them, and the odds of an abusive relationship leading to a dog bite are greater mearly based on odds. The fact is any dog can bite, but if raised in a loving home, especially a pit bull breed the odds are 0%. Treat them with love and respect and that is exactly what you receive in return. Congrats again on your new family member and welcome to the bully club.
aArOn 02.09.06 at 3:15 pm
There was a story that made national news a few years ago, “Pitbull turns on owner.” The media ran with it like their asses were on fire. After some research, the truth behind the story was indeed the dog did attack her owner but only because it was fed up receiving its daily beating and abuse. The truth is if you take all of the bully breeds (bull terriers, am staffs, pit bull terrier etc..) combined, these breeds do not make up 1% of the dog bites on humans reported in 2005. And what dog breed was the number one offender last year and 3yrs running? Drum roll please…..The Labrador Retriever. Why the all american lab you ask? Because millions of families own them, and the odds of an abusive relationship leading to a dog bite are greater mearly based on odds. The fact is any dog can bite, but if raised in a loving home, especially a pit bull breed the odds are 0%. Treat them with love and respect and that is exactly what you receive in return. Congrats again on your new family member and welcome to the bully club.
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